Disclosure Time (Whoop whoop!)

Hey there Internet Ether –

Now it’s time for some disclosure. I’m 30-ish. I’ve spent the past 20 years studying to become something I was recently told I sucked at, so now I’m stuck in a similar job I had when I was 14, with depression leaking out of my orifices, with Sallie Mae crawling up my ass. I bet a few folks can relate to that.

Let me be cliche for a second: if I look in a mirror, I see an overweight, sloppy, thirty-something with a horrible job lightyears away from a dream that left  shards on a sidewalk. I’m in a horrible go-nowhere-but-backwards relationship and over the past few years I’ve pushed away every resemblance of a friend I’ve ever had. You know those people on Facebook that have 2000 “friends” and almost noone “liking or commenting” on their posts? That’s me. I have royally fucked myself sideways into a  corner…to make things worse, I even have a slight gaming addiction.

BUT WAIT – it wasn’t always like this: a few years ago I was at the top of my game, had a great job, was presenting at conferences in my chosen industry, was happy with my relationship, had loads of friends, and weighed 50 pounds less… (though I was still overweight)..

Don’t ask what happened, because that isn’t what this blog is about.. all you need to know is that THIS (right now, here, as I am today)… isn’t me. THIS.. is not who I am, and it’s certainly not who I want to be.

The BIG QUESTION: If I can’t go back to where I was, but I know I can’t stay where I am, where do I go? 2014, this silly blog, my stupid resolutions to myself… I suppose that’s the answer. 

(I wonder if there are any 2013 New Year’s Resolution blogs that people actually kept up with? That’s not really what this is but… in a way… it kinda is… minus the resolutions… more focus on the crawling out of the darkness and into the light..)

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