I Never Thought I’d be a 30-year-old Addicted to a Video Game

Last night I actually dreamt about a dumb online game I play, which tells me it’s time to take a break from it. I told myself the second I woke up that I wasn’t going to look at it, wasn’t going to look at it, wasn’t going to look at it….then it became “just 5 minutes”, “just 10 minutes”, just 15 minutes”, just 30 minutes”… and an hour and 10 minutes passed of my morning before work. So ok the game is an issue. I spend a stupid amount of time playing it. It cracks me up because I’ve never been “a gamer”  until last year when I found one that just worked for me. The game is okay, but what really snagged me is the social aspect of it.  I quickly became “in charge” of people in the game like a father/mother figure of sorts. My dominant side came through and I haven’t put it down. Confession: I even played the stupid thing on a solo overseas trip last year. I never in ten million years thought I would say the following statement: I think I have a gaming addiction! (Wow that felt odd)

If I were my own counselor I would say it’s because in real life I am flailing around, with no autonomy, no control over my life. In the game I’m the boss, in charge of large groups of people, in full control. Makes sense right? So then the question is this: If the game is the only way I feel in control of anything in my life right now, should I stop playing it completely? Or should I wait until I have a little more external grip and ease off of it? Hmm conundrum. 

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