Online Games

It’s Monday, Week 6, and I Feel Great!

I think I thought that by now in 2014 there’d be huge, drastic changes to how things were/looked on the last day of December in 2013. I was expecting to do a 360 right away, to be a completely new person, shedding flakes of skin and personality flaws and fat and procrastination all at the same time, on the same day, the same second… well THAT SHO’ AIN’T HAPPENIN’! So what is?

I set this whole site up for myself to be pretty crazy. You can probably tell from my endless lists and planning that I tend to border on OCD – which is hilarious when paired with procrastination such as my life. So there are no drastic changes that have happened in the first 6 weeks of 2014. I’ve lost a few pounds, I’ve joined a gym, I’ve started standing up for myself at work, I’ve looked for new jobs (but haven’t submitted any full applications yet so that’s pointless to say), I’ve nurtured my relationship with my family, I’m starting to let go of weighty “friendships”, and I’ve gone to a few cool events.

Those first two weeks of January seemed supercharged with “cool things to do”. I was actively going out and doing things with friends, and then once I started focusing on this weight loss (and thus being afraid to eat out or go to a bar), I stopped all that… I’ve got to find a balance.

Time to look at my February goals and see where I am since 1/3 of the month is over. My February goals are:

Overall GOALS:

  1. Listen to every BEATLES album chronologically. (1 down)
  2. Read 3 books related to my goals. (Read one, 2nd started)
  3. Lose 8 pounds! (1 lb loss – had setback due to family visiting)
  4. Keep my house as CLEAN as it was at the end of January. (Doing ok – could be better)
  5. Find 25 Things to Donate. (Haven’t started – will start today)
  6. Go to the gym 8 times. (Gone 3x)
  7. Spend the last two weeks of Feb in Mardi Gras BLISS (Not there yet)
  8. Find/Make a Mardi Gras COSTUME (Still no clue on this one)
  9. Apply to 3 jobs (Found 2 – haven’t applied yet) 

10 AWESOME THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN FEBRUARY:

(….. crickets) All I’ve done is work/come home/shop/eat/sleep…

As for OK things that actually have happened?

  • Bought shoe inserts to help with foot pain
  • Bought socks to help me out at the gym (needed cushioning)
  • Ordered a sports bra (came today – love it!)
  • Ordered over-the-ear sport clip headphones for the gym (WooHoo!)
  • Took the skin off the damn rotisserie chicken (harder than it sounds) before eating
  • Had dinner at M’s – talked about the Doctor all night

As you can see, I did accomplish a few small things but my list is still right there, shining brightly in my face, unfinished…

TODAY’S GOALS that involve verbs (will update later if I get them done):

  1. TAKE bath – SHAVE
  2. COOK Healthy Dinner for partner
  3. GO to the Gym
  4. CLEAN  kitchen/bedroom
  5. WATCH Biggest Loser (I’m on Season 7, down to final 4)
  6. MAKE list of 3 jobs to apply for TOMORROW (include on list what actually needs to be done)
  7. SPEND only 10 minute segments on my game(s)  – USE A TIMER
  8. BUY a procrastination book
  9. READ the first chapter in the book I buy
  10. DECIDE on a mardi gras costume
  11. FIND 5 items to donate
  12. LISTEN to the FIRST song on the FIRST Beatles album

Think I can get all that done? … Gosh I hope so.. will check in later and let ya know

(^^The crossed off items are what actually got done…so everything else gets rolled over to today’s list)

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I Never Thought I’d be a 30-year-old Addicted to a Video Game

Last night I actually dreamt about a dumb online game I play, which tells me it’s time to take a break from it. I told myself the second I woke up that I wasn’t going to look at it, wasn’t going to look at it, wasn’t going to look at it….then it became “just 5 minutes”, “just 10 minutes”, just 15 minutes”, just 30 minutes”… and an hour and 10 minutes passed of my morning before work. So ok the game is an issue. I spend a stupid amount of time playing it. It cracks me up because I’ve never been “a gamer”  until last year when I found one that just worked for me. The game is okay, but what really snagged me is the social aspect of it.  I quickly became “in charge” of people in the game like a father/mother figure of sorts. My dominant side came through and I haven’t put it down. Confession: I even played the stupid thing on a solo overseas trip last year. I never in ten million years thought I would say the following statement: I think I have a gaming addiction! (Wow that felt odd)

If I were my own counselor I would say it’s because in real life I am flailing around, with no autonomy, no control over my life. In the game I’m the boss, in charge of large groups of people, in full control. Makes sense right? So then the question is this: If the game is the only way I feel in control of anything in my life right now, should I stop playing it completely? Or should I wait until I have a little more external grip and ease off of it? Hmm conundrum.